Breaking News: You Can Stalk Your Order Now!

That’s right, folks—your relentless curiosity (or paranoia) has finally paid off. We’ve added a shiny new feature to our store: order tracking. Now you can follow your package’s every move like the obsessive ex you never wanted to admit you were.

Gone are the days of wondering, “Where the hell is my stuff?” Now, with just a click, you can watch your order’s journey unfold in real time—or at least as real as shipping updates get.

Here’s How It Works:

1. We process your order in record time (or within 1-3 business days if the universe cooperates).
2. Your order hits the road and starts its epic adventure to your doorstep.
3. You track it obsessively, refreshing the page every 10 minutes, because patience is overrated.

A Few Fun Caveats:

• If there’s a snowstorm, zombie apocalypse, or your package decides to take the scenic route, shipping might take longer than the usual 4-7 business days. Relax; we’ll get it to you eventually.
• Customs might hold your package hostage because they can. Any taxes or duties they slap on are your problem. (Sorry, not sorry.)
• Oh, and if you need to cancel your order after it’s shipped, you’ll just have to wait for it to arrive and then send it back. Karma, right?

So go ahead, place an order, and enjoy the thrill of digital stalking. Questions? Complaints? Love letters? Hit us up at info@bleakshirt.com. We’re here for you (probably).